I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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