Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
