Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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