I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
