i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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