Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
