So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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