Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
