Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Randomize
