Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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