Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
