Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
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Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
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Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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