Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
