Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
