I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
