Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
