Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize