you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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