Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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