something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
