Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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