why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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