ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
