we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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