would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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