Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
