wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
BRING THE BAGELS
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
