what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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