i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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