why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
It's just like the Real World with babies
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
