if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
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