apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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