# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize