Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
