well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
