would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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