You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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