A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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