I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
