I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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