I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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