No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
