But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
