I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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