What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
time to smoke my breakfast
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Randomize
