I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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