Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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