So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
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You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
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I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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