Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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