i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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