so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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