Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize