LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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