Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
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