I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I'm at about main and main street
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
my liver is dry heaving
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