I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
