Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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