Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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