she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
